Follow my Wordpress Blog

Just in case you all were interested in continuing to follow my blog, please click the meepit below, and she'll lead you over to the new Wordpress feed.

Best wishes for a happy day!

Ready to Move to Wordpress?

Here's the link. There's a bunch of fun stuff on there - new posts, etc. Please check it out and let me know what you think!

Meepit On Parade - Wordpress Version

Working on the switch to Wordpress

I really do like the format better. Just letting all (four) of you know that this is happening. I'll be posting the link soon.

Hope you all are doing well!

(Andrea - Haven't forgotten about the award....You'll see it on the new blog once it's up and running.)

Back from my unanounced break

Hello all....not much to say. I'll probably be kind of in cognito for a little while still. As we're now in April, and just a little over a month to Baby J's due date, I'm spending a lot of time in reflection, and trying to make myself ready to be pregnant again. I don't think it will happen until after May 12th, even though we'll be getting the MRI between now and then, as well as more bloodwork and may even be able to do a treatment cycle.

Today is Sunday and I'm feeling more at peace than I have in a long while. I spent Wednesday evening and all of Thursday and part of Friday with my SIL and three little nephews. They are so beautiful and sweet. It was a lot of work, but I took sole charge of my baby godson all day Thursday - all of the feedings and all of the diaper changes and all of the cuddles. He fell asleep on me once, and I didn't have the heart to put him down, so I held him while he slept for 2 hours. It was an experience of heaven.

My heart truly aches to have a baby in my arms, but I do have a baby in my heart, always.

I love you, baby J. Have a happy Sunday, my sweet angel! Give Jesus a hug for me.

100th Post!!

I was really hoping my 100th post might be able to be a pregnancy announcement, but it doesn't look likely, as my fun new Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor (CBEFM) did not indicate ovulation this cycle. I do enjoy getting to pee on something nearly every day, so at least it takes care of that compulsion.

But happy 100th post to those of you who actually read this drivel. Congrats on making it this far!

It's also been just about a year since my first post, and frankly, I'm a little disappointed we haven't gotten further in our journey in a year's time. I thought for sure we would have a definite idea what the problem was a lot sooner.

All we do know is that the problem is me. We know I don't ovulate. We think there's something wrong with my uterus, but not really what that is.

So my goals for the next year are as follows:

Have an MRI between now and the end of April.

Have cycle day 3 bloodwork done. (Last cycle, the lab was closed on cd3)

If the MRI shows a septum, have it removed.

If the MRI shows a bicornuate uterus, we will have to make a decision to either stop TTC and adopt or continue ovarian stimulation + TI (depending on the severity of the bicornuation)

Lose at least 50 pounds. I'm currently around 226. Ideally, I'd weigh about 130, so 50 lbs is a little more than half of that.

If we do another year of ovarian stimulation and are unable to achieve a successful pregnancy, I will go back on the pill to regulate my cycles, and we will begin the adoption process. I figure 2 years of TTC is enough for us. It will probably cost us enormously to continue to see the RE and do treatments, so we'll likely be starting from square one on raising the money for adoption, so that will probably take us 2 years and then a year of waiting, and finally, we might get a baby around March 2013. I'll be 33 then. I guess that's not too bad, right?

I just need to not live every moment of my life living in grief for what I've lost, and in fear of not getting what I want.

Sorry for the downer post, folks. I just thought it was time to lay it out for myself so I can go back to my life and not think about this every moment of every single f-ing day.

Happy ICLW!

Well, I wrote a nice long update last month, thinking I'd signed up for ICLW, but somehow, it appears that I didn't. So I'm not going to write quite as long a recap of my journey this time, but I also haven't blogged much in the past month, so a quick scroll down will get you the general idea.

Since that though, there have been some small bright spots:

My husbands semen analysis proved to be a huge relief. Because of my HSG, it had been longer than it should have between ejaculations (sorry for the TMI), and we were worried we'd have to do it again because his counts wouldn't be acceptable. Fortnuately, he seems to have super-sperm. His counts were high, but his motility was too, so apparently his boys can swim even in the worst of situations. He'd also ridden his bike to work every day the week before, with tight bike shorts on. So I no longer get to complain that he's squishing his guys. Although, frankly, I think it's due to his fancy saddle, which has a mesh-covered hole in the front and a vent so everybody gets plenty of cool air while riding. All of his other results were normal or better than normal.

My insurance paid 100% for the HSG and for the initial consult with Dr. P. Why, I have no idea. But it's pretty damn awesome.

Still no luck on the looking for work front, sadly. But my parents are helping us with COBRA, so I should still be able to get the MRI done (and hopefully they'll pay for that too!)

My SIL, who has been trying to start doing foster care for the past 6 months looks like she's going to get her approval any day now, which means immediate placements. So at family functions here in Florida, I will now literally be the only one without children. I'm beyond excited and happy for her, but obviously, it's hard to be left out of things.

So that's the general update for now. The Boo is taking me to an art museum today, so I'll have to sign off now and go take a shower.

Best to all of you, and Happy ICLW!!

Inertia

Being out of work sucks. In between half-heartedly looking for another job that I'll grow to hate in a few months, I've been sleeping until 11:30 every day, and not able to go to bed until around 3am. The optimistic work-out plan has been thrown to the dogs. Actually, Anya would love it if I actually threw something for her to fetch, being a retriever and all, but unfortunately, she and I usually just sit on the couch watching movies. At least we're not snacking, because there's really no snack-worthy food in the house. If I actually wanted to cook or bake, I could make something, but I don't feel up to it.

Anyone out there have some motivation for me? Just going for a walk would probably help tons, but for some reason, I'm just not feeling it.